Corporate hired a motivational speaker to come and, I guess, motivate us. What would motivate me, personally, would be the prospect of some kind of time off in the near future, but since we just lost several more staff late last week that seems unlikely. Other things that might motivate me would include: a ping pong table in the break room, free exotic and semi-exotic smoothies, some old timey arcade games like Defender Stargate (because I love killin' Yllabian Space Guppies), some sort of friendly prank war with other similar facilities, or an academy softball team. What didn't motivate me very much was some guy (nice enough, admittedly) giving what was pretty clearly a standard corporate motivational speech re-purposed for bleeding heart social worker types.
This one guy I'm friend with and I arrived a little late because we had both been doing actual work with actual clients, and the first thing we both noticed was the speaker's hair, which was short and slicked, plastered really, back against his scalp with some sort of enviably powerful gel.
Me (whispered): Oh look, it's Glengarry Glen Ross.
Other guy who came in late with me (whispered less softly): No no, Patrick Bateman.
Me (slightly too loud): Glengarry Glen Bateman.
The rest of the speech was downhill. It's really neither empowering nor inspirational to sit through an awkwardly repackaged productivity presentation after working an 11 or 12 hour shift dealing with and documenting real problems. Had I not kind of awkwardly ducked out early, I suppose I would still be there.
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2 comments:
the space guppies never appeared in the arcade game. they were only in the atari version. POSER!
lol U've been PWND.
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