The schlemiel spills his soup on the schlamalzel.

Too many rotations. Too much paperwork. Too little sleep. My brain is running like hell and getting nowhere fast.

That said, I sometimes have moments of trivial glory. Last night, a co-worker called me a schlamazel, because I tripped while carrying a container of salad and spilled it on the floor. I told him this would really make me a schlemiel, yes, but not a schlamazel. I reminded him of the old Yiddish proverb "The schlemiel waiter [the klutz] spills his soup on the schlamazel customer[the guy who secretly enjoys having terrible luck], who doesn't complain and thus lets the schlemiel waiter keep his job and spill soup on another customer." It's funnier in Yiddish, I've been told.

But then, suddenly, even though I have only seen reruns of the show four or five times, fifteen or twenty years ago (and didn't enjoy it), I became absolutely certain the first two words of the Laverne and Shirley theme song were "Schlemiel! Schlamalzel! Something and something else incorporated" We argued about this for about five minutes. His first position was "That's not what they say, they just say nonsense, not even real words." His final position was something like "I just don't care at all anymore."

Good news. Google confirmed that I was absolutely right. I have an astonishing memory for old theme songs. From television shows I never liked. That pretty much everybody has forgotten. Because they were terrible.*

Christ. I would just erase this, but it's the first time I've had the time and energy to post in so long that what the hell. It's pretty much this, or a plaintive screed about endless hours and escalating paperwork.

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* I also have a terrifying ability to remember plots from Empty Nest. And a half-baked argument for why it was secretly an extremely important, even influential, show. But by now I'm already trying your patience.