Darren Daulton is one crazy son of a bitch.

A couple of years ago, I was talking to a friend who grew up in Philly about the crazy way Steve Carlton believed the Jews ruled the world in secret and also, somehow, ruined his ability to throw a slider. He assured me Carlton was far from the craziest ex-Philly, and mentioned Darren Daulton. Then we started talking about something else, probably really important, and I don't think I probably thought about Dutch Daulton again until last night.

Last night, while commenting about that obviously juiced up Phillies team with Kruk and a suddenly buff Dykstra and Darren Daulton and his magically rejuvenated knees, I Googled Daulton to confirm that his last name was spelled with a "u". My main concern was that Daulton seems like the kind of guy who might Google his own name for references on baseball blogs and then beat the hell out of anybody who spelled it wrong. Anyway, I happened to remember my friend's cryptic comment about Daulton's crazybrainedness and checked his Wikipedia entry. Under Personal Beliefs we find:

Daulton holds a series of beliefs related to conspiracies, metaphysics, and numerology. He maintains that the universe is created and sustained by numerical synchronicities, and that all matter is charged with vibrational energy, which has escaped human perception because it is extradimensional in origin. He believes that those who are conscious of this energy can manipulate it to affect reality in different ways, such as altering the weather. He also believes that the pyramids and Mayan temples were created by a lost civilization, and that people with knowledge of the workings of the system will "ascend" at the conclusion of the Mayan calendar on Dec. 21, 2012, at 11:11 a.m. (Greenwich Mean Time), vanishing into a new plane of existence. [5] He recently claimed in a televised interview with ESPN that he has "skipped through time" and undergone "astral travel" and will "blast into space."

Daulton has authored a book on metaphysics and numerology, titled "If They Only Knew," published in 2007. In the book he discusses numerous aspects of metaphysics, referencing experts in the field, and his personal experiences.

Actually I guess a lot of people believe in the Mayan calendar thing though. I suppose on 12/21/12 at 11:11 GMT we'll find out who is really crazy, me or the crazy roided up ex-catcher.*

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*It's the crazy roided up ex-catcher who is really crazy.